Anybody know what I'm doing here? Saying goodbye ^_^ I'm done here nice having a blog. But I'm bored with it. So. BYE

Last time
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Due to email notification

Well hello there. I haven't talked on here in a while now have I? As you can see I've broken my habit of using the "..." thing. Whatever it's called. I saw that a girl by the name of miss bleeding stitches commented saying I was interesting. Well. I have to say I am so I don't sound conceited (but it's true. I am interesting sometimes) so I just wanted to say hello to her. And welcome. And give everyone a hug *hug* and then. Leave abruptly..............................BYE

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Motivation to post.

I have none. Bye.

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Uh. Hi?

Yea. I havent posted in a while. Ive been kinda depressed recently. Dunno why I just am. Just wanted to say hi. Thats all I havE to say. Bye.

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Didja miss me?

I was at camp last week and I leave for fine arts camp on wed. Soooooo...yea. I Get to bring my bass to camp with me so that makes me happy...but that's about all i have...Exept that it is BLOODY HOT out and I hate it...I can't wait foe the snow...That's all...bye

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Aaaaaaahhh...life is

Good...you cared enough to wonder what life was...admit it...you expected me to say something completely random like camel of sammich...but no. I said something good...I noticed I hadn't posted in a while so I decided to tell you all that I love you all...Exept osumone...whoever you are...imma be blunt about it...you scare me...and I can't love someone Im afraid of...but everyone else I love like a brother/sister/well you know...I'm a teen to!/anything not mentioned before. So I don't know what else to say Exept that Im technically an 8th grader now and I'm really excited cuz 8th graders get to go to Washington dc for the field trip...FOR A WEEK! and I'm excited to go across the street to the high school in 9th grade...aaaaaand...I have something for everyone to talk about in the comments...my brothers friend..."Bill" we shall call him said to me that it's abnormal and unhealthy to listen to music on a regular everyday basis...so I googled it and found that listening to a song you like increases the blood flow in your body and makes your heart work less...so it actually is healthy. Then he went so far as to say that music is a waste of money, time, and memory on your iPod...and you know what I have to say? Absolutely nothing. Because your the one who is depriving yourself and your body of proper exercise and good music. You fatty...get of the couch and finally learn to ride a bike, your 13...

Confusion

So. This is going to be a serious post. I know its different but I just need to do it. The usual posts will resume when I stop feeling wierd. So I've been trying to not put myself down for the last two days or something. Yea, I know cami. Such a good thing to do for yourself. No. It's clearly NOT good for me. Because it's become so natural for me to say "I'm stupid" or other "put downs" about myself that it only hurts when I do something wrong. But my no-self-hating thing has failed. And I feel worse about little things than I should. So, those who know me, your gonna have to just get used to me putting myself down. Because I can't stop it without wanting to sit in a corner and cry and beat myself up about little things that happened a long time ago when I stop not hating myself. (remember the flashbacks? They were just a really Long involuntary beating up) Usually, I just beat myself up for doing something wrong. But today when my "self hatey" side broke through. I was hating myself because I had failed. Then I started telling lies about myself. And eventually beat myself up for doing absolutely nothing. I just did it. No reason. I didn't like it so I'm not emo. And I'm confused why! It's just. NOTHING! I'm telling lies about myself for no reason at all! And I hate it! So much that I hate myself for not controlling it! *pauses* EUREAKA! I've got it! I know why Im doing this! I won't tell you and no it's not depression (the kind they advertise about on tv for) but now I can stop because I know the reason and because the reason is stupid I can stop! YAY! *hugs for everyone* yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!!!! Regular posts will resume tomorrow or on my next post!(if all goes well) I want to thank Eleanor especially because she talked to me tonight and made me feel a bit better and if I was as sad as earlier I wouldn't be able to figure it out!! THANK YOU A BILLION TRILLION TIMES!

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